You've Moved Abroad...Now What? Expat Kids' Challenges with the Move Abroad.

You've arrived in the new country, your bags are unpacked, you did all the exciting sight-seeing with your kids... That 'new', novel feeling that you had when you arrived — when everything was exciting and intriguing is slowly dissipating and reality sets in: You and your family need to make this work; this needs to start feeling like home . Somehow, this is perhaps the part you did not realise would be so challenging and your kids seem to also find this a bit difficult. Now what?

These are the kinds of accounts I get from parents when engaging in Discovery Calls with them. With the best of intentions, they sell this move abroad to their children (and themselves!) as a grand adventure (which it most definitely is), but then after a while, the dust settles and everyone is hit with reality: Now we need to make this work!

Here are three pieces of advice I give to parents once the dust has settled:

1. Acknowledge that this is Challenging

Allow all family members the space to share and feel the challenging emotions now that the dust has settled and reality has kicked in. Though it is still an adventure, there are and will continue to be challenging moments. Give your children the opportunity to share this with you and offer them confirmation that what they are experiencing and facing are all okay. So many expat kids I have worked with, share that their parents expect of them to always be positive, upbeat and optimistic, leaving them feeling isolated and frustrated.

2. Create Familiar Rituals

   
   

Create a sense of familiarity within the unfamiliar. What are the kind of rituals that you and your family had back in your home country that you can replicate? Consider things like: Family breakfasts over the weekend, Friday night movie nights, Family check-ins over dinner etc. In a world filled with unknowns, children cope better when they know there are familiar things that form a part of their day. Additionally, these familiar rituals can create opportunities for you as a family to remain in touch with each other and reinforce the feeling that you are in this experience together.

Having meals together as a family can create great opportunities for connection.

3. Seek Connections

Humans are social beings; we need connection. Giving your children the opportunity to connect with others can be incredibly helpful in boosting their morale, protecting their mental wellbeing and supporting their journey towards belonging in a new place. Consider signing up your child for sports or arts clubs; take them to the neighbourhood playground often. If you have a teen, encourage them to look at extramural activities or clubs that their school offers so that they can increase their connections with peers.

If you notice that, despite putting the above measures in place, your child is struggling to adapt and they need a safe space to further work through this adjustment, you have not failed as a parent. Children are incredible resilient, but regardless, international moves can be difficult. Reach out to me if you'd like to discuss how I could support your child.

Best wishes for the year ahead,

Megan